skip to Main Content

I let go the idea that I had to put my life on hold because of my caring responsibilities and I got my dream job!

Back when I was still a young carer I had lots of dreams about what I wished to become. Most of them were connected to working in/with the media. But in those times the only thing I could do is to admire others on television and radio and just dream that this could be me someday. My reality was pretty different. I knew that this was something that I will not achieve. Or so I thought back then. Why did I think that way? After finishing high school I enrolled in university and moved to a student dorm that was 90 km away from home. Because of the situation at home (my father had multiple sclerosis) I felt obligated to quit my studies just after a few months and return back home to help my mother to care for my father. I stayed home. Unemployed and without education, with no money, no driving license. That was my reality.

Seeing how differently my peers lived their lives during that time comparing to me, made me feel sad and a slight depression started to develop. I was really an angry youngster back then, but I never blamed my father or his illness for my state of being. I gladly helped at home with everything, but when I was 23 something happened. I started to assume the role of a parent, because of all the stress and worries as a young carer, in a way that I started to worry about the household, our income, paying the bills, etc. Due to this, my depression grew into anxiety and panic attacks. When my mother suffered a heart attack, I had to stay alone with my father at home and the stress increased. My first panic attack happened when my mother returned back home and I ended up staying in the hospital for three weeks, because the doctors couldn’t figure out what was happening to me. On first night, as I started to listen the beeping sound of my heart, I got really scared and thought ‘that is it’, thinking I was not going to see another day. That realization hit me as if it was a ‘wake up’ call saying “It is ok to put yourself first, it is ok to live your life, it is ok.” So I started to work on myself, on my depression, while still helping at home. I got really motivated by the fear I experienced in the hospital. During all those years, I felt like I had to stay at home, live according to my father’s illness and put my life on hold. But that wasn’t the case! When I realized that I can also live my dreams, another fear surfaced. What do I want to be? All that time at home I had forgotten that I even had dreams. I felt really lost but the process of finding myself started. Since then, it took me almost two years to get my first job as a journalist at a small local radio. My ambitions grew from the moment I realized how much I love this work. By this time my self-esteem started to grow tremendously and my knowledge as well. I started to do lots of exercises to learn how to motivate myself, how to deal with anxiety and how to think positively. Soon after that, I enrolled in the university again, finished my studies and got a job as a journalist on the national radio and television. I got my dream job! But not because of luck, not at all. I got it because I went after my dreams, I was more courageous than I have ever been and spoke my truth. But most of all, I let go the idea that I had to put my life on hold because of my father’s illness. This year, I also just finished my masters and I am prospering in my work place. Not only I am a journalist, I am also a tv host. Four years ago I started to do also some motivational workshops and lectures on how to change your life for the better if you believe in yourself and how to start believing in yourself. But this year I started a new mission. I published two books about my life struggles as a young carer and the third one is on the way. I am more than happy to be part of Me-We project. Is it also a new mission, to talk about and to young carers, to let them know that it can and will get better. Information is the key!

Back To Top